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Friday, December 29, 2006

Nitwits of the Caribbean

Carnival Valor ©2006 Jim Boyd
Skylaire amongst the Iguanas ©2006 Jim Boyd
It was a bad movie; Felix and Oscar do a Cheech and Chong Road Trip. From the moment I laid eyes on the Ton Ton MacCooties guarding the Airport, where we picked up the 12 passenger van, I knew it was going to be Hell on Wheels. White shirts, black slacks and M-16s. No groovy sunglasses as the island hadn't seen the sun in some time. Our Van looked like it was just back from Iraq and had no license plate ... seems the Island is so tiny they know each car by sight.

So back at the boat, we load four more people and drive to the Iguana Farm. They are much fun and they smell awful. I was naturally sympatico at once. We got lost in the village and Sky was upset with roadkill floating in the town canal. (There was probably a dentist or three in there as well) That's quite offputting as they were washing their clothes in the stream as well. The local hotel chain is called Carrion and has live vultures circling constantly. The supermarket was 8'x 10'! Suffering a flash back, The Igg roared down a side road and found the local Fuel Dump and while John Anthony West asked for directions, Iggy attemped to light a Marlboro Light 100. The Ton Tons were not amused.

Off to the beach we ended up on the top of the local mountain and got the best view of the trip. We then got lost and ended up with people flying over our heads on cables. One of our party became upset over the whole deal and we decamped back to our floating City. AC, Toilets, room service, a dozen bars....arrrgghhh! Matey That's the Life for me. Even with it's tacky decor The Valor was a welcome sight.


photos ©2006 Jim Boyd all rights reserved


Anonymous said...

Ah, Pucca, at last an in depth report on your aquatic holiday. I can see that it took a couple of weeks for you to come out of shock enough to spill it. What the hell Island was that anyway? Was it ruled by somebody named Moreau? And why Dentists in the Canal as opposed to Accountants, or UN Peace Keepers from Canada? Had most of the vegetation been replaced with barbwire? Inquiring minds want to know.

Jim said...

Rotan was the tiny place. Dr.Moreau would have been an upgrade as ruler. Real Rain Forest, the jungle was marvelous, monkeys and Iguanas shared the tree tops. Add large Tarpon shade "fighting fish" ruled the ocean shallows. Mudslides were common and Iggy tried to become one with several of them. The local Police/ army patrols the street in Blue Urban Camo , dayglo Lime would give them more concealment; poor cousins to the Ton Ton McCooties, they carried cheap Wundernines.

The Avis Lady was amused when I inquired if we could rent an M-16 in case we encounter a very large Iguana. We had seeen one back on Grand Cayman island.

iggymak said...

Posted on behalf of Puca to illustrate the request for ordnance... (see above comment)

Click for a picture that will make it all very clear...

can't do pics in comments, unfortunately.